I looked at Sara and saw that she was embarrassed, ‘Sara I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take advantage of you, I don’t know how this happened.’ She laughed, ‘If you took advantage of me how come I’m sitting on top of you instead of you on top of me?’ This got me laughing too but when I looked at her, I stopped laughing and kissed her again. We made love again only stopping long enough to put another rubber on me. I went home thinking that too much excitement and too much booze had caused this to happen and it was only a onetime thing. By the next Sunday, Gus got his license back in order and was able to reopen. I sat with Sara to watch the game and we said nothing about what had happened the previous Sunday. The game after this was to be a Monday night game and as Sara and I talked about it, she invited me over to watch it and have dinner. I accepted not knowing what I was getting into but hell at the very least it was a dinner and a Steeler game. I brought a bottle of wine and a cake. Then he switched back from the belt to the wire. It stung horribly on the welts the belt had raised; everywhere it struck felt like a cold fire was burning its way into my body. The T-shirt and shorts I was wearing were no protection, if they even were still on me. And all the while he was beating me, he was screaming at me that I was worthless and stupid, that he hated me, that he was going to make me pay…after a while, I couldn’t even understand what he was screaming. I was so sure that he was really going to kill me that night that I almost wet my pants; the only reason I didn’t is because if I had, that would have given him the excuse he needed to kill me. I knew he was just looking for an excuse. I never told Paul about some of the things that happened to me because they were too humiliating for me to even think about. That night was one of those things. For that reason, when I cleaned I was extra-careful to not make any mistakes. That night, when Dad got home, he.
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